One, two, three, four, five and SIX!

It’s my older sisters birthday today, I won’t reveal her age. She lugged me with her to the West End. Now I’m not the best of shoppers, I’m usually the person you see slouched on the chair or furiously pacing the shop floor with phone in hand and another eye on the clock. I’m just not programmed like other girls to try on clothes then try them on another three times. Admittedly, I like buying clothes I just don’t like the process…

So, the West End. My sister managed to trap me there for six hours!! My sister has extremely exquisite fashion taste, so what may look beautiful to her, usually looks, well… Quite strange to me. As it was her birthday, I decided to put my rose tinted glasses on and visualise the shopping experience through her eyes. Lets just say, my eyes were genuinely surprised.

Our first stop was Topshop, the home of girls, women and anyone in between. I’m not a fashion ageist (if that is even a term), I even saw a few elderly women in the changing room. I guess fashion is fashion right? However,  I don’t know how I would feel if  I saw my Grandma in leggings, an over sized t-shirt and knee high boots. Each to their own…eh?

The changing rooms are a place most women fear. Dripping with sweat, inhaling other bodily odurs, depressed by the illuminating spotlight pounding against the fall length mirror. The changing room is like a magnifying glass, it exemplifies that spot you’ve been trying to hide or those love handles that just won’t hold onto those new jeans… It feels like a sauna and with sweat dripping down your face- the sales advisors are always there to lift your spirits and persuade you to buy that top that would look better on your 8 year old sister.  My sister found some really beautiful items in Topshop, I was really pleased because I thought that meant the shopping trip was nearing the end. Wrong!! My sister was indecisive about the clothes and insisted on ‘putting them on hold’. ‘WHY?’ I screamed. With items on hold, I knew the shopping trip had only just begun…


I demanded we visit H’n’M, I’m on a budget right now so I try and hunt out beautiful bargains and H’n’M sometimes has a few hidden gems, well more like bronzed diamonds. I managed to find a dress for my graduation (will post a picture later), smiling from ear to ear I ran to the changing room and dragged my sister by the arm. Just as my sister was about to join me in the changing room, the changing room assistant bellowed ‘5 items needed, or you can’t go in’. She threw a whole concoction of items into her hands, consisting of over sized jeggings, a lime green skirt and a jumpsuit which looked more like Krusty the clown’s pajamas.  My dress fit like a glove, my sister agreed.

The rest of the shopping trip was a bit of a blur, my stomach wouldn’t stop rumbling, my stomach kept rumbling and ummm… I was HUNGRY! I fought through the pain, who else was going to advise my sister on what belt to choose? 25 mins of deliberation and she decided that the black belt ‘just didn’t fit right’. Hmmm…

After six hours and six shops later it was nearly over, until my sister remembered the items she put on hold in Topshop. With my stomach now raging, I refused to go back inside Topshop, and waited patiently outside. I waited for 30mins, when my sister emerged she was not convinced with her purchase. I glared at her blankly, sighed and insisted on going home.

My sister has just told me that she’s going to return the jumper she bought from Topshop… It just doesn’t look right.

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